5 years

5 years.  That's how long it has been since I've written.  A lot has happened in 5 years.  I graduated nursing school, moved to the Gulfcoast, got a divorce, lost my great grandmother, lost my father, started working on my masters, got remarried, changed jobs, had another baby, and a lot of smaller things in-between.  I reread my old posts, back when life was much simpler, when I was an externally happy, empty shell.  It's amazing how complicated life can get when one begins to achieve true, undoctored happiness.

I am now co-parenting with my ex-husband.  I'm doing the best I can with that.  We both are.  My husband is more helpful than I could have every asked for.  He keeps me grounded, sane.  I have my 5 year old daughter, and now a 6 week old daughter.  If you've never heard that it is hardest going form 1 kid to 2, let me be the living proof of this.  My oldest is having to learn how to share the attention, while my youngest is constantly needing to be fed, changed, entertained, or (briefly) sleep.

I am currently a year into my masters program.  I plan to be an FNP by December 2019.  I pushed back my graduation a year in order to take off this and next summer.  A newborn, a kindergartener, and a full time job were not conducive to learning.  This new class schedule will allow me to take the necessary classes to achieve a subspecialty in nursing education.

I worked ICU for 2 years, then L&D for 8 months, and now I am back to my roots in the ICU.  I also moonlight on the vascular access team.  I'm working much closer to home (30 minutes closer), which is a huge blessing!

My great grandmother passed away in October 2015.  Then, my father passed away from unknown causes February 13, 2016.  That caused a whirlwind of emotions, but more on that later.

So, as you can see, my life has gotten complicated and hectic, but I'm happy.  In fact, I'm happier than I've ever been.  I'm married to my best friend, my teammate, something I didn't think existed.  I have an amazing support system made up of wonderful friends and my immediate family (they live within walking distance of me now).  I love my job and am working towards my goals.  God has blessed me with two beautiful, healthy daughters.  I am truly grateful for all that I have.

So why are there moments when I can't stop crying?ᘂᗰ

Nursing School

So, I started nursing school at the beginning of July, which is why I've been MIA for so long.  I was in class everyday 'til 4 or 5, and I spent my weekends spending time with my family.  I was very surprised and happy with how well I adapted to school.  Having a baby and husband made it difficult, but not impossible so far.  I came out with an A and a B this summer, so I'd say I'm doing pretty good... The summer semester was suppose to ease us into the program, so I don't know how well I'll do next semester. O well, I'm gonna try my hardest either way!  We had a group project this semester that counted for 40% of our grade.  I hate group projects, because I'd rather do all the work myself than depend on someone else to do it.  Anyway, I did the best I could with the people I was working with.  Apparently, one member didn't think I did my part. She gave me a bad peer review.  Now the teachers used the reviews to make sure everyone did equal amounts of work.  If someone didn't do their part, they were docked a letter grade.  Thankfully, my teacher called me to clarify with me what happened before she docked my grade.  I couldn't believe a member of my group would do that!  I was heart broken... I knew who it was, and I have known this particular person for years.  We graduated from high school together!  I've been praying daily for wisdom and guidance on how to deal with her and people like her.  I like the "kill them with kindness" method, so that's what I've been trying to do.  I text her, before I knew about the review, to make sure she was OK and to tell her I was there for her.  Apparently that didn't work.  O well, I've gotta learn that I can't please everyone.  I feel God is using this situation to teach me self control.  It's been very hard, but I'm doing pretty good so far!
Proverbs 16:32 NLT
³² 32      Better to be patient than powerful;
                   better to have self-control than to conquer a city.
Stay Motivated!

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Officially a nursing student

So today was my first day of class... Well, it was more of an overview of what's expected and how the semester will progress... I enjoyed being back in a classroom setting. I'm a nerd and love school.
We took an assessment test for nurses through ATI (an online software that helps prepare students for the NCLEX- a test to get licensed). It's to be used as a guide to show you which subject areas you should focus on. They compared it to the ACT. Anyway, I got 84% correct, which was higher than 94% of the country. To say I was happy is an understatement! Considering I haven't been in school in over a year, I didn't think I would do good. My score makes me cautiously optimistic about the next 2 yrs.!
I go back to class Thursday, they gave us tomorrow and Wednesday off for the 4th, and I'm glad. I needed a gradual adjustment. I was worried about being able to pump, but today I pumped at 12 and 5. Not every 3 hours like I usually do at home, but I'm sure 5 hours will be fine. Plus, I've got plenty stored! The big test will be balancing being a student, mom, and wife. I have faith that God with give me the strength I need though!
Isaiah 40:31 NIV
31 but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Stay motivated!

Mini vacay

So I know it's been forever since I last posted, and I'm sorry. Last weekend I had family time. Then Monday my husband and I left for Atlanta, Georgia. We left around 4:30 pm and leaving my baby was the hardest thing I've had to do. She stayed with my mother, the only person I trust to keep her for that long.
When we got to Atlanta, we stayed at the inn on Dobbins air force base. It was really nice! We had a mini kitchen, which was helpful because I had TONS of milk to store...
We woke up early (around 8) Tuesday morning, got ready, and went to six flags. I LOVE six flags! Lucky for us, one of my childhood friends and her husband were also there. We met up with them and rode every ride in six flags! Our favorite was batman, although superman came in close second. There is a new ride there called daredevil that was pretty awesome. The Georgia cyclone and ninja gave us a headache, I don't recommend those... When you first get to six flags, I would go ahead and head straight to the daredevil because that was the longest waiting time. Second was superman, but that was in part because they were having technical difficulties for about 20 min.... Going on a random Tuesday was definitely advantageous because other than the hour or do wait at daredevil and superman, the other rides only had like a 20 min or so wait.
Tuesday night we went to a braves game. Our seats were 16 rows from the field! It was AWESOME!! I'm typically not a huge fan of baseball, but a professional game, in person, is pretty fun. My husband caught a T-shirt the braves girls were shooting before the game started. He tried to get chipper jones, who was standing like a foot from him, to sign it, but chipper ignored him. I've heard he's not a very nice guy... Oh, before the braves game, we ate at a Johnny Rockets at the underground. They make the BEST milkshakes!
Wednesday we woke up early again. We went to the aquarium and the zoo. I liked the aquarium because there were several interactive areas where you could touch the animals. The zoo didn't impress me, and I normally love zoos! I bought Eden a onesie that said I love dolphins, and I bought a shot glass from both the zoo and aquarium. We've been collecting shot glasses from the places we go since our honeymoon... When we go back, we'll probably skip the zoo and aquarium...
After we left the zoo, we came home. I missed my little peanut do bad! We were exhausted, and thankfully Eden slept until 10 Thursday morning :-)
I had planned to pump every 3 hrs like I've been doing, but each thing we did took like 6 hrs and I didn't wanna stop in the middle to pump, so I just waited the 6 hrs. I'm sure my supply has gone down some, but I have 2 Walmart bags full of milk. That should last a retry good while... And I'm gonna start pumping every 3 hrs for the next few days before school starts to increase my supply again. Mom has reminded me that I should trust that God will take care of my supply and me :-)
Philippians 4:19 NLT
19 And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.
Stay motivated!!!

Anniversary

Yesterday was my 3 year wedding anniversary. During the day, while the husband worked and napped, Eden and I went to my friend's house. She'd made baked spaghetti (yum)! When I got home, my husband made steak, potatoes, and corn! Yesterday was such a relaxing day!
Eden was horrible last night, though... She woke up several times and wouldn't go back to sleep. She turned 6 months today, so I'm assuming she's going through a growth spurt and teething, maybe? Whatever it is, I wish she'd grow out of it soon...
I have like 10 books I want to read (house of night novels, shades of grey trilogy, bitterblue) and not nearly enough time to read them all... I start nursing school in less than 2 weeks- July 2. I'm excited and nervous all at the same time! Anyway, hopefully I'll finish some of those books before I start...
Ecclesiastes 3:1 NLT
1 For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.

Been a few days

So my husband got back home Saturday morning, hence the lack of posts... He's been gone for 3 weeks doing his summer military training. We spent time relaxing and hanging with the family for father's day! Today, we went grocery shopping... Together... Big mistake! We're generally a happy, sweet couple, not when shopping though. He doesn't think we need stuff I know we need, or he thinks we need fewer of a particular item, or a smaller size. Sorry, but there's a reason women do the shopping... Especially when said woman is at home all day.
When we got home, he made homemade fried chicken strips (yum) and I made broccoli cheese bites (double yum)! He made the chicken using flour and Italian bread crumbs and deep fried them in our fry daddy... I made the broccoli bites with one head of broccoli minced, two minced onions, 1 cup of cooked bacon, one cup of whipping cream, 2 cups of shredded mild cheddar cheese, and 2 cups of Monterey cheddar cheese. You mix all the ingredients together in a bowl. Roll them into one inch balls, put them on a pan, and place them in the fridge. While they're getting cold, heat oil to 350, make sure it's deep enough to cover the balls completely. Have equal parts milk and eggs in a bowl. Put flour, some salt, garlic powder, and pepper on a plate. Get the broccoli bites out of the fridge, roll them in the flour, then the milk mixture, and again in the flour. Fry them 'til golden and enjoy!
Matthew 25:35 NLT
35 For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home.
Stay motivated!